“It’s just not acceptable,” Tiger Grandma bellowed in the reception of your school this afternoon. “I arrived at my son-in-law’s home last night at 9pm and was appalled to find that Elsa was asleep in her bed.”

Behind the desk, the meek, uniformed receptionists tried to placate Tiger Grandma with soothing gestures and calming words.

“I demand to know why you are not giving Elsa more self study. A child of seven should have enough soul-destroying bookwork to prevent her from sleeping before half past ten!”

The grand matriarch spoke loudly as other customers tutted their assent.

“I was ashamed, ashamed!” she fumed, “when Mrs Thuong from the house opposite told me that her own daughter is dragged from her bed to practice the violin with bags under her eyes as five o’clock each day, while my granddaughter is wasting her time sleeping.”

“I don’t believe I’m getting my money’s worth here,” Tiger Grandma seethed, pointing a taut finger at the nearest receptionist. “I will be taking my daughter to see the doctor in two weeks and if the doctor does not diagnose her with sleep deprivation I will be quite happy to take my business to Happee Outreech English! Goodbye.”

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