A huge breakthrough was made in applied neurology this afternoon as Jean Simpson and Anya Kolisnyk managed to decide on a diagnosis of autism in under seven minutes, without either of them having any qualifications in psychology.

Asked to share their revolutionary techniques, Simpson replied, “We just sort of had a chat about it. The bell rang for break time and I mentioned that I had been having trouble with Gandalf in Happy Stars 2 as I was making a coffee.”

Kolisnyk is keen to take over the story. “I had recently read an article about autism on Buzzfeed and Jean’s sister Fran used to teach primary before she had the twins. Between us we found that we had the necessary expertise and subject knowledge to diagnose Gandalf with autism in less than ten minutes.”

The National Association of Psychologists have responded with effusive praise.

“This has been a challenging area for decades. Though we’re sad to have wasted so much time and energy on defunct practices like comprehensive diagnostic evaluation and developmental screening, our field will forever be indebted to Jean and Anya for pioneering the procedure of, “having a chat about it.”

Nobel prizes are traditionally awarded in December.

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