The warning comes after attention was drawn to the fact that hot teachers always seem to get called back to the Immigration office several times over seemingly unimportant administrative quibbles.

“Unfortunately, these things just take longer for lovely ladies like you,” Ivan Kalinouski told our creeped out and definitely uninterested reporter. “There are so many forms to fill out, stamps to get, places to sign. Have you submitted your phone number yet?”

“It’s so weird the way they look at you when you go in there,” said Alehandra Rodriguez, 26, who has got it goin’ on. “And they’re never in a rush to get anything done. They just keep asking you if you want more coffee and how you like their country.”

“Yeah, they ask weird stuff,” said bundle-of-hunkiness George Chiamaka, 31. “I mean, I have done some modelling and worked as a personal trainer but that’s none of their business. I’m applying for a visa to teach English. Why can’t they just get it processed?”

On the other side of the teachers’ room, there is dissent.

Brian Snodgrass, who has a face only a mother could love, was happy to talk in praise of the Immigration office as he sharpened his way through a set of coloured pencils.

“They’re pretty prompt. You go in there and they get everything stamped and signed in an hour or two at most.”

Businesslike is the word I would use,” chipped in frumpy, dowdy Diedre Milner from beneath her moustache.

The Department of Immigration has no plans to cut down on visa processing time for babes, adonises and solid 10s but has declared that it plans to invest in a new digital camera to get higher-quality passport-sized photographs.

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